Return to site

Escape from the Commodore 64 Screenplay Feedback - L.A. Int. Screenplay Competition


Here's some feedback from the L.A. Screenplay Awards on the screenplay for 'Escape from the Commodore 64'.

Characters: Sarah, her brother Rhys, and Nell, the friend they make while trapped in the Commodore
64 are all fully realized characters with personality, strengths, and weaknesses. Sarah
having no interest in video games is a nice element that helps connect the script to a
broader audience. The villain is one-dimensional but considering he is also a video game
character, it works.

Tone: The tone is rooted in adventure and family dynamics and the writers crafted a nice
balance between these primary elements. There is a light-hearted effect even when the
stakes are raised in the third act, and this is a smart creative choice by the writers. Solving
video game puzzles and defeating video game challenges should be fun even when lives
are at risk.

Conflict: Sarah has to stumble through a video game world with no prior interest or experience
with video games and that sets up a lot of conflict throughout the script. The script is an
adventure story, and the writers create a nice balance of urgent action with moments that
are slowed down to give the characters and the audience a chance to react to what just

Market Potential/Concept:The concept is quite unique but that also is going to impact the market potential. There are a few relevant comparisons to this material, most notably Tron and Wreck-It
Ralph. Tron in particular has a similar overall theme and concept since that story follows
a real human being trapped in a video game. Commodore 64 is an interesting hook...

Theme: There are a few nice themes in the story related to family and gender balancing. Video
games have strong associations with men and the more toxic version tries to establish that
women can’t be good gamers and programmers/designers. The theme of survival is the
dominant theme but addressing the gender balance of the video game culture, which is as
relevant in 2022 as it was in the 1980s is thoughtful and well executed

Strenghts: Hyper visual world that if executed well will be visually stunning. Solid, well-crafted core characters.